What is regret?

My boyfriend and I were writing back and forth one day in an email. I had come across something very beautiful he wrote a few years before we got together.Im going to share these few series of emails because i feel it may shed new light to people stuck in darkness.

The beautiful thing he wrote a few years prior to us meeting:

Ive' never met true love though I have tried to shake his hand once. As if I'd come in from off the street without an appointment, he said, "Not today" 
Though we'd never met I've walked in his shadows in search of something real. All I found is that nothing here is real, except the pain. It's like a chocolate covered maggot that looks so sweet to bite into, but eats you from the inside out.
" I Love You." Three powerful words. Three beautiful words if spoken from the heart.
 What is spoken from your heart in such a dark place as this may fade to a whispering silence overcome by ones desire to be loved. ~ Scott Schofield

My email to him on what he wrote....

This is something i wrote the other day after reading the yellow piece of paper u wrote on some time ago.....

I'll be here for eternity.Through the sleepless nights and through any pain you might ever experience. Past or present. I know pain, I know emptiness and I know what it is like being lost to ones own self. To be in a place of darkness knowing if you turn your cheek you will feel the light, feel the warmth. yet not able to push past the fear that even the light will produce emptiness and that in that, there will no longer be hope. Whats left if there is no hope? No one to share it with? I'm here now. I'm here in darkness and in light for you. I'm here for an eternity with you, because I love you and nothing can change that. ~ July 18th 

His reply back to me.....

I stand alone in the darkness I created. I feel your presence like the warmth of the morning sun coming through the window. The light is welcoming and all that is good. But the darkness provides a false security that grips me like pair of a Handcuffs. I have imprisoned myself in this sea of darkness, fighting against all that I know is right and good. I fight the darkness, but I am weak. I have strength on my side though, for you are always there. As long as I have this, I know I will overcome. But know this; even when I overcome, I will always carry the darkness within. There is a hole in my heart that the fills itself with the darkness.  Even with Christ in my heart, it remains. He leaves it to remind me of my worldly desires, to remind me that I am only human.  The darkness if filled with loss and regrets. It is also filled with memories and lessons. Things that at the time I could not see.  I will spend much of my life in this darkness, but not all of that time will be imprisoned. Once the chains break I am free to come and go. I live in the light, but come here to remind myself of the dangers of this life. I spend many hours thinking of what God wants of me. More times than none, over thinking. I am always on a quest to better myself in the eyes of the lord, to please him, to understand what he wants from me. I am lost but he guides me. I have spent my whole life this way. What people take for sadness is my constant need to make sense of the world around me.

I love you, I need you, I want you!!!

 

 

My last reply to him and my point on regrets.....

Ask your self....what are regrets? In my eyes regrets are things (or lessons) we haven't learned yet. In vision this picture. Your sitting on a park bench and your looking towards the play ground, towards all the children and the possibilities in life that children bring(kids representing new things). Behind you....a woman walking away, her back to you. If you turn and face her and wonder how to make her turn around, how to make it (the situation) different, then whats behind you now? Its your choice on which way you want to turn and what you want to look at. It always has been.

 

You can  remember things in your life with out going to dark places Scott.

Texas Gov Rick Perry...very interesting

Rick Perry to America: Pray to Jesus, 

The Texas governor and possible presidential hopeful says America can only solve its problems through Jesus.

By Justin Elliott

Texas Governor Rick Perry

Gov. Rick Perry raised some eyebrows recently when he officially declared three "Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas ," which has been plagued by drought.

But now Perry (these days a pundit-approved possible presidential contender) is taking his advocacy for public prayer a step further. Perry is the man behind a new conservative Christian event called "The Response: A call to prayer for a nation in crisis." It is a day of prayer and fasting to be held at Reliant Stadium in Houston in August.

Says Perry in a letter on the front page of the event's website: "Right now, America is in crisis: we have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank Him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy." Perry adds that "There is hope for America ... and we will find it on our knees."

So who else will be at The Response? "Governor Perry has invited all U.S. governors as well as many other national Christian and political leaders," according to the event's website. "People of all ages, races, backgrounds and Christian denominations will be in attendance to proclaim Jesus as Savior and pray for America ." The Response is being organized at Perry's request by the American Family Association. Here's a link to the promotional video for The Response: The Response Promo from The Response USA on Vimeo.

I've reached out to Perry's spokesman to ask what the governor would say to those Americans who are not comfortable with his exhortation that they pray to Jesus, and I'll update this post when I hear back.

Friends, Governor Rick Perry recently attended a private dinner with oil and gas businessmen trying to help secure the $2M funding for: The Response: A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis August 6th Reliant Stadium Houston, TX The event was conceived, initiated and called for by Texas Governor Rick Perry. There will be no DVD sales, book sales, CD sales, T-Shirt sales, and no vendors...just water, fasting and prayer. Below are his remarks last week in Longview : Governor Rick Perry Transcribed speech Longview , Texas May 23, 2011 In 1977, I had left the Air Force and moved home. I’ll be real honest with you—I was a bit lost spiritually, and I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. So I moved in with my mother and father. Now that’s a real trip! I had been an aircraft commander, traveling all around the world, seeing amazing places that a boy from Paint Creek , Texas , had never even dreamed were out there before. I had this great epiphany during my mid twenties. As I had lived in Europe and South America and the Middle East , I saw all these different countries with different forms of government. I was actually paying attention to the dictatorships, theocracies, monarchies, democratic states, etc. I started making the connection between how those people lived and the form of government they had. It was most interesting for me, as I’d never really given that much attention to our form of government in America . I’d taken for granted this extraordinary country we live in, but I came to realize that America is really a special place. I also made the calculation that inside that really cool place was this incredible place called Texas ! At twenty-five, twenty-six years old, it dawned on me what an incredible country we live in, and that the vast majority of the people take it for granted. They abuse the privilege of living in a free country. They don't realize how so many other people live around the world. But with that knowledge, I went home and lived with my mom and dad. I moved back into my old room. At eighteen years old, I left to go to my beloved Texas A&M University . Nine years later, I came back into my old room. I swear to God, I know mother cleaned it, but it looked exactly like it did the day I left. It had my football number on the door, and it had the all-star football game program still stuck on the bulletin board. It was an eerie moment for me to move back home. My dad was pretty sure I was the same stupid eighteen-year-old that had left. I was pretty sure he hadn’t gotten any smarter either. So we went through this really brutal period of time of finding our comfort zone. But God was dealing with me. At twenty-seven years old, I knew that I’d been called to the ministry. I’ve just always been really stunned by how big a pulpit I was gonna have! I still am. I truly believe with all my heart that God has put me in this place at this time to do His will. On Aug the 6th of this year, 2011, we are going to have a day of prayer and fasting. And it’s going to be the real deal. It’s not going to be some program where we line up a dozen political figures to come in and talk. It’s going to be people standing on that stage, projecting and proclaiming Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior at Reliant Stadium in Houston , Texas . Let me tell you, that’s a big stadium and there will be a lot of people. But it’s going to send a powerful message across this country! Our country’s broke. Well, actually, Washington ’s broke; our country’s going to be just fine. But we’ve got to have men and women who are willing to stand up to proclaim the values that this country was based upon. In 1774, at the Continental Congress when they got together and penned that first document, they talked about “life” and “liberty.” Interestingly, the third thing they talked about was “property.” A couple of years later, when they actually wrote the Declaration, they changed that “property” to “the pursuit of happiness.” I just signed a piece of legislation today, the imminent domain legislation. I tell people, that “personal property” and the ownership of that personal property is crucial to our way of life. Our founding fathers understood that it was a very important part of the pursuit of happiness. Being able to own things that are your own is one of the things that makes America unique. But I happen to think that it’s in jeopardy. It’s in jeopardy because of taxes; it’s in jeopardy because of regulation; it’s in jeopardy because of a legal system that’s run amuck. And I think it’s time for us to just hand it over to God and say, “God, You’re going to have to fix this.” (I think it was Herman Cain who stood up the other day and said, “How’s that “Hope and Change” thing working out for you?”) I think it’s time for us to use our wisdom and our influence and really put it in God’s hands. That’s what I’m going to do, and I hope you’ll join me. I hope you’ll join us in Houston on the 6th day of August and really start a revival across this country. Here’s what I want to leave you with. I know from time to time, people will say something like, “There goes Perry. He wants to secede.” But I love this country. We’re a special place. We were created by God-fearing individuals who understood those biblical values and how powerful they could be and would be in the future. And I suggest that for our country, our best days are ahead if we’ll get on our knees and ask God to take over and give us wisdom. I may wear the Lord out every day in prayer. I pray for this country. I pray for restoration for this country. I pray for our president every day. I pray that God turns buckets of wisdom out on his head, that God will open his eyes. We can change this country, but it requires our giving it to Him and letting Him guide us.

*********************************

 

 

--"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes".