Confessions 1

I woke this morning, tired and drained. Feeling like my brain just needs to sleep some more. I don't have much to complain about as I really have everything I need to survive day to day, but its the day to day that gets exhausting. Waking up, then waking the kids for school, getting them to the bus stop, then cleaning the house, watching the kids tear it up again as they come through the door at 3:30,cleaning it again, listening to them bicker and fight all day and try to make each other look bad to me. It really just makes me angry a lot. Then making dinner, listening to how what ever i make isn't what they like or want. Then its shower time aka fight time for the kids, whose gonna shower first, who showered first the night before when it really doesn't matter, they both end up washed anyways lol, and then bed time.

I am far from perfect, I spend to much time in front of this computer when I should be reading scriptures. I yell to much when my kids bicker instead of being understanding and patient. Don't get me wrong, I try very hard be patient and understanding. After hours and hours of hearing it though its all I can do to not scream and throw a fit myself lol.

So I sort of walk around in a zombie state of doing what it is that has to be done for them to grow up and to make it day to day. I have decided that this is not acceptable. I now am attempting to grow herbs and vegetables, which I love to do. I have thrown myself into my services at our church, another thing I love to do. In hopes that it makes my spirit more healthy and happy. If I can fix this then perhaps patience and understanding will follow.